There is so much to say about that stuck feeling. I have been there many times. This most recent time was incredibly frustrating as I felt like I was making changes, yet nothing seemed to translate into life changes- I still felt stuck. Each person has their journey, and what works for one person may not work for another. Yet, it can be helpful to hear different ideas, and one or two of those may ignite something within yourself that resonates and calls you to try it. Always consult your medical practitioner for your own wellness plan.
A key for me was addressing something fundamental in each essential component of wellness: mind, body, and spirit.
Mind:
Since turning 40, I have struggled with mental clarity. My age and living a busy modern lifestyle have meshed into feelings of brain fog and fatigue. I suppose the subsequent recommendations I have addressed all aspects of mind, body, and spirit. Initially, I made the change to manage feelings of depression, anxiety, and brain fog- I will say it may not be a popular option. Still, it is the number one thing that I changed to feel unstuck. I quit alcohol. I am not saying this is a forever choice, and I am not saying that everyone needs to do this. I am saying it’s been almost 100 days, and it has made the most significant difference by far. I feel like I have more mental capacity for things purely because I am not navigating the world of alcohol. A pretty unusual side effect I have noticed is how many strangers now engage with me when I am out and about. I am not sure if the alcohol was dimming my spirit and closing down my heart energy, but now people randomly talk to me and engage in conversations with me. I could go on and on here, so if you want more info, just let me know, and we can set up a time to talk.
Another essential for mind wellness is quality sleep! We all know what the day looks like when our sleep has been less than stellar. Ways I have addressed my sleep:
- High-quality bed/mattress
- My husband and I recently invested in a sleep number bed. This is an investment piece as it is pricy. So many options are available these days, and I encourage you to look around and prioritize your mattress, as it contributes significantly to your sleep quality.
- Magnesium
- This is a twofer. Magnesium helps with bowel elimination (if you struggle in this domain) as it is a smooth muscle relaxant that aids sleep. I use Natural Vitality Calm unflavored in my tea at bedtime. Note: if you take too much, you will have diarrhea. It also gives me lucid dreams; I’m not sure if this happens to anyone else, but I do notice this happens when I take it.
- Dawn Gazing
- Our body regulates our sleep-wake cycles by taking cues from our environment. The morning UV rays kick-start our melatonin production. So, I make my coffee (which technically shouldn’t be consumed for the first 90 minutes of waking, but one change at a time) and sit on our front step for 5 minutes, waiting for the fresh daylight to hit my retina. This does not work through a window; the wavelength needed for this process can’t penetrate the window in the amount required.
Body:
The first action I took was to seek out the help of medical professionals. I wanted some baseline information followed by a plan with realistic goals. I chose The Age Management Institute (AMI) in Santa Barbara, an integrative health and wellness clinic (let them know I referred you :)). If you have a doctor that you trust, then that works too. The process started with an in-depth health assessment blood draw, followed by identifying my goals, reviewing lab results, and various recommendations that address the medical findings paired with my personal wellness goals. I tend to take too much on, make too many changes, and then need more time, resources, and willpower to maintain the changes. So, I picked a few things to focus on. One area that I am focused on is having daily bowel movements. Ugh. Lol. But seriously, bowl health is so super important. Poor gut biome has even been linked to depression! So, I now have a note on my phone where I track my daily or not-so-daily BMs.
Bowel Health
- Hydration! Along with abstaining from alcohol for bowel health, I have been focusing on hydration. I love Ultima from Amazon or LMNT (use the link for a free sample pack with purchas), I am obsessed. A fun, fancy water bottle can’t hurt either. I got a custom Yeti that I love lugging around with me.
- Digestive Bitters
- Vitanica Bitters: I take two capsules with meals to promote healthy digestion.
- An Apple A Day
- I have no idea if this helps, but I have been eating an apple every morning for its soluble fiber, which helps, in my experience. Must be a saying for a reason…
I also have committed to moving my body.
- Walking is my go-to. I put on a podcast or an audio book and I walk.
- I also work out on my Fit Mama SB app because her workouts are fun and short, and she makes it easy to follow along. All of her workouts are less than 40 minutes. Most are 20-30, and that is doable for me.
- Bring back your childhood sport/activity.
- I figure-skated my entire youth from 5 to 17 years old. I was at the rink nearly daily. Recently, I have taken it back up. I skate 1hr once a week. I had to get my ego to chill before I was able to sign up to skate, but it has been enjoyable to move my body this way again. I encourage you to remember what used to light you up as a child and, if possible, try it again. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Spirit:
I have been a Registered Nurse for over 20 years and worked at an acute care facility for 16 years. I never thought I would leave there. After Joe’s passing and a series of events, I realized I was no longer aligned with my work in the way I wanted to be. I had spent years striving, working long hours, and traveling for training and conferences while my children were in child care, 8 am to 5 pm, 5 days/week since they were only a few months old. I knew that my children were my priority. Being a mom was now more important to me than being a VP, and I was fortunate to have the support of my husband and family to take a leap of faith and quit that job, not knowing with certainty what was on the other side of that decision. This happened over time. It was a full year before I released the fear around transitioning away from that job. What was on there the other side of that decision has been better than anything I could have imagined. I’ll just say, I have summers off! and I don’t have to work nights and I have every Christmas off!
I have a strong connection to Tarot and Oracle cards and have been busy creating my own Oracle deck. This act has given me a spiritual focus, and I have been enjoying the writing and creative process. In this deck, I have provided practical ways to address your self-care. I continue to tend to my spirit through writing, altar building, tarot/oracle cards, and syncing with the natural cycles of the moon and the seasons, and I can’t wait to have my oracle deck so that I can use it daily as a tool to tend to my spirit. I am always on the lookout for ways to tend to my spirit, and I love attending wellness retreats and events. If you are interested, I will keep you posted via my IG stories on these events.
Processing my grief has been ongoing spiritual tending. Since my brother passed unexpectedly nearly 8 years ago tending to my grieving heart has been an ongoing. I think the biggest healer for me is to feel the feels when they arise. I do notice if I try to bypass my grif the pain bubbles and steams until it erupts. I look and listen to messages he sends. I trust his and the universal guidance that speaks to me in a language that we have co-created. Feathers, butterflies, hummingbirds and specific songs are a few ways that messages arrive.
There is so much more I could say and I hope that there is a tid bit of information that allows your wheels to spin and you are able to get even a little unstuck and that propels you into motion.
If you have any questions or want more information, let me know.
Be well,
Jen Bower Downhomemystic
